Attribution: Image by Freepik
Medically Reviewed by Andrea Caamano, Director of Medical Affairs, The HRT Club
Over the last few years, a new concept has emerged in conversations around midlife health and the impact on relationships: ‘couplepause’. Coined in 2018 by two Italian professors, the term refers to when both partners, often in their 40s or 50s, experience hormonal changes at the same time. This typically includes menopause in women and andropause in men.
What Exactly is ‘Couplepause’?
The idea behind couplepause is that hormonal transitions rarely happen in isolation. Many couples in midlife find themselves walking parallel journeys of physical, emotional, and sexual change, which can deeply influence how they relate to each other. Instead of seeing one partner’s struggles as the problem, this concept encourages couples to view the experience as a shared path. Each person’s shifts affect the other, and both can play a role in how they navigate this time.
So, Why Does this Happen?
For women, perimenopause often starts in the early 40s and progresses into menopause by the early to mid 50s. Changes in estrogen levels can bring a range of symptoms including sleep issues, mood swings, low libido, hot flashes, and changes in body composition. For men, testosterone declines more gradually, and can result in fatigue, decreased sex drive, and shifts in mood or energy. While symptoms in men are often subtler, they can still create frustration or confusion, especially when combined with the changes their partner may be experiencing.
When both partners are undergoing hormonal and emotional transitions, the effects may be noticeable in the relationship. Sleep loss, irritability, changes in self-esteem, and physical discomfort may increase misunderstandings or develop into emotional distance. However, recognizing that both partners are navigating similar shifts can be an opportunity for growth rather than conflict.
The Importance of Communication
Communication becomes one of the most important and powerful tools during couplepause. Talking openly about how each person feels can help avoid assumptions and the possibility of resentment. What might look like withdrawal or disinterest could simply be exhaustion or hormonal imbalance. Honest conversation builds understanding and allows couples to support each other without blame.
Empathy also plays a crucial role. Both partners may feel vulnerable or uncertain about the changes happening in their bodies and emotions. Simply acknowledging those feelings can strengthen connection and remind each other that they are on the same team.
Learn Together, Grow Together
Education is another essential part of navigating couplepause. When partners learn about menopause, andropause, and hormonal health together, they gain perspective. Understanding that low libido or mood swings are often biological rather than personal can help ease tension and maintain emotional intimacy. It’s crucial to learn together!
If symptoms start to overwhelm daily life or strain the relationship, professional support can make a big difference. Consulting with a healthcare provider or relationship counselor can help identify options such as therapy, nutrition adjustments, lifestyle changes, or in some cases, hormone replacement treatments.
Approach Couplepause as a Team
Nurturing health together helps both partners feel stronger and more connected. Shared habits like regular exercise, balanced eating, better sleep, and time for relaxation or hobbies can support physical and emotional well-being. Couples who approach this phase as a partnership often find that their bond deepens rather than weakens.
Couplepause is a time of transformation that many couples experience. By facing it with communication, compassion, and teamwork, partners can rediscover one another and move into the next chapter of their relationship with renewed understanding and intimacy!
